Wall Notes

Writing, thoughts, ramblings, and what makes me laugh

Food City Car – part one

Tomorrow never seemed so far away! It’s been those type of weeks when life kicks in (and keeps on kicking). I will be putting up some pictures soon. I’ve had many people want to know what happens next and I apologize for waiting so long. This one’s dedicated to you Laura!

I must preface this story, that I did not witness it. It was related to me through two adults (who could not stop laughing an hour after it happened) and three students.

Saturday night of the DiscipleNow all the groups meet at the church for a huge Worship Service. Dave and J.C. did a great job. After it ends  students and adults head out to the cars to go back home. My group came in two cars and we all were heading to the store to get a few things for Ice Cream Sundaes. (Let me back track for a moment). Kati and some of our friends came that Saturday Night to the Worship Service. Ok, I’m back. After the service I was talking with Kati and so one car stayed and waited on me, while the other vehicle left to head to Food City.

The Food City Car (which I will refer to as the FCC from now on) had the husband and wife of the home we stayed in and three teenage boys. The husband and wife are fantastic. Great couple who loves the Lord and teenagers. The teenage boys? They rank: “Reserved”, “Energetic”, and “His father probably invented Ritalin.” Energetic was the one with the hurt ankle (this is important.) Ok the FCC gets to Food City and Husband is going to “run in very fast and gets stuff for Sundaes.”

The moment Husband gets out of the FCC, Ritalin shouts “We can help!”

So he slides open the door and hurries to catch up with Husband with Energetic limping behind because his ankle looks like an raccoon was stuff inside an ankle warmer. 

Reserved stays in the FCC with Wife and says, “Oh no.”

Husband has one thought on his mind, “Hurry and get in and out before they get into Food City.”

Ritalin is waiting at the sliding door for Energetic to hurry up. Energetic finally gets there and they both hurry inside as Husband is jogging down the aisle grabbing food off the shelves faster than Brittney Spears can make an annulment (dated I know, but it’s funny). Energetic stops before stepping in the store. Now this is a time in life when wise choices really takes a back seat. What it takes a back seat to, I honestly have no idea. This is a time when commercial after commercial slowly ingrains the thought “I need one of those.” Energetic spots a group of Food City Rascals. 

He stares at them like a five-year old staring at his presents on Christmas morning. “Hey Ritalin! We need these.”

Ritalin walks back over and says, “Yes we do.”

So Butch and Sundance saddle up on their four-wheeled, basket equipped, never will break the Clap-Barrier Food City Rascal. 

I never understood the idea of a Rascal in a grocery store. I know they are to help people who can’t or are unable to walk. Just out of observation these things are pretty low to the ground. I mean, all it needs is some ground affects, flames on the side, all sixteen switches, and “Dixie” to play every time it backs up. Being low to the ground the rider has a maximum height of four feet. Most all shelves are over six feet tall. Unless your grandmother was half octopus, you’re going to find some difficulty snagging your Captain Crunch. Oh, and let’s not forget you practically have to tip the thing over to reach for anything on the bottom shelf. Heaven forbid you pass by your favorite Pop Tart and make a “Youie” into a eight-year old trying to grab Chicken Noodle Soup (because Hannah Montana told her to). A normal trip to Food City for a slow walker is a good hour and a half. A trip mounted on your plastic low rider is nine and a half hours.

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April 24, 2009 - Posted by | Ministry, Students | , , , , , , , ,

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