Wall Notes

Writing, thoughts, ramblings, and what makes me laugh

VBS Part 2

Since I informed everyone on the concept of VBS a couple of days ago, I won’t bore you with the descriptions again. One of the things that the kids love to do was play on a playground. Of course! How simple. The playground sounds like a great idea. What could possible happen on a playground, right?

Our church as the typical playground setup. Large fenced in area. Swings. Slides. Jungle Gym. See-Saw. A few things I have no idea what they are, and something that I refer to as the Roller Coaster of Doom (more on that in a moment). Everything is spread out with lots of room to play and it is all smothered with tons and tons of wood chips.

Call me old fashioned, but when did substituting razor sharp lumber for nice green grass become the norm? Almost every playground in the South does it. Did someone believe the slim chance a kid broke his leg jumping out of a swing would be down played by the 8 foot piece of kindling that now has pierced his abdomen? Do we need to deter kids crawling on the ground that much? I suppose hanging upside down on a Jungle Gym lacks some luster unless we up the ante with the possibility of a child getting impaled by Paul Bunyan’s splinter.

Just an observation.

Ok, now I’ve led the children to the promised land and they are having fun and going crazy. I work with teenagers. I don’t go to the playground or rarely even pass by it. I’m quite impressed with our set up. I have flashbacks of fun times I enjoyed when I was a child as I pull out a limb that is now submerged into my ankle. I scan all of the “equipment” and pause on something I have never seen before. I’m not sure what it’s called or why it would have been invented.

See for yourself:Playground










                                                                                                Roller Coaster of Doom.

Surely this was invented by someone who despised children. Perhaps it’s part of an Evil Mad Scientist plan to control the world. Possible evidence of an Alien invasion? Or maybe someone wanted to plant a memorial to their pet snake. Who knows. While I stared as this harbinger of the Emergency Room I thought about all the places that proved to be the most dangerous.

Playground Problems










                              It doesn’t end with structural problems. What if they cut corners during the construction of this monstrosity? What if it was made out of copper and a storm passed through?


Playground Fire










                                And considering the red and yellow colors used, what if it attracted the lava people who live below our earth’s crust? What if the mixture of colors is insulting to them?


Playground Fire People










                                                        I guess I’m just a worrier.


August 5, 2009 Posted by | Children, funny, Ministry | , , , , , , | Leave a comment

VBS Update Episode 1 (FINALLY)

Seems like I’m always apologizing for not keeping my posts up-t0-date. Well this time it’s different. This time I’m going to grovel…..forgive my tardiness.

Whew! Glad that’s over.

Ok, I promised a VBS story and here…..we…go!

For those of you who didn’t grow up in a protestant church in North America or who simple do not know, VBS stands for Vacation Bible School. It’s not a title that embraces a lot of fun, excitement, or joy. VBS is usually a one week event that puts the attention and focus on children up to the 5th Grade. The goal is to use Bible study, song, craft, recreation, and love to teach kids about the redeeming love of Jesus Christ.

Despite the boring title, VBS is a very exciting week, especially at our church. Our Children’s Minister is amazing. She crafts ministry that will reach children where they are not where adults think they should be. VBS is a week that requires the help of 60 to 70 adult volunteers to fill dozens of different roles. I wanted a break from teaching this year so Suzy (Children’s Minister) asked me to lead the recreation for Kindergarten to Second Grade aged children. After the thought of children running around like fire ants attacking a sugar cube while strung out on RedBull left my mind I accepted the job.

I’m a Student Pastor so I have a pretty good repertoire of games. Granted most of them are messy, loud, disgusting, and have an almost “Fear Factor’ meets “Stand By Me” pie eating contest vibe to them. So obviously I couldn’t use a single one. So I canvased the Internet as well as other Game Aficionadosthat I am friends with and concieved a few appropriate games and off we went.

Hopefully the back-story has been carefully drawn for you. Here is a summarized amalgam of our game time:

(I’m standing outside surrounded by 25 Second Graders.)

Me: Does everyone understand the rules??

Everyone: *Blank stares*

Me: *Sigh* Ok, who has a question?

Everyone: *Blank stares*

Me: Remember the boundaries, ok? You can’t go past those trees or into the parking lot. What happens if you go past the boundaries?

Little Boy: You blow up!

Me: No, you don’t blow up. What happens?

Few Kids: You have to sit down!

Me: That’s right. You have to sit down.

Little Pyro-Boy: And you blow up.

Me: No, you don’t blow up. You have to sit down and can’t play.

Persistent Little Pyro-Boy: Because you blow up!

Everyone Else: Yeah! You blow up!

(I must pause as I consider the demented joy the children of the corn take as they cheer and celebrate the concept of blowing up.)

Me: No. You all don’t blow up.

Chanting Cult Children: Blow up! Blow up! Blow up!

Me: Ok, ok. Everybody calm down. Who wants to play the game?

Little Girl: I don’t want to play if you blow up.

Me:……….You won’t blow up. You just have to sit down and wait for the next game to start.

Persistent Little Pyro-Instigator-Boy: How can you play another game if you blow up?

Me:*sigh*………….Does anyone still want to play???

Everyone: Me! Me! Me!

Little girl: But what happens if you go out-a-bounds??

August 3, 2009 Posted by | Children, funny, Ministry | , , , , , , , | 1 Comment